


Forget the way Fire made you Fear the Light in my Ruined Human soul, and Give me a kiss

by Pinche_Vida



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, but also makes you 100 percent sure that if i wrote a lil bit more there would be a happy ending, most of it will be the kind that makes you sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-07 10:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinche_Vida/pseuds/Pinche_Vida
Summary: Alternatively: Klangst Week 2018!March 24th: Remember/ForgetMarch 25th: Fire/WaterMarch 26th: Fear/AngerMarch 27th: Light/ShadowMarch 28th: Create/RuinMarch 29th: Human/AlienMarch 30th: Give/TakeMarch 31th: Alternate Universe/Free dayA collection of shorts centered around my two favorite bois and their tears :)





	1. Forget

**Author's Note:**

> It's prompt time! Let's see how much damage I can do in one week :)

Coran cleared his throat.

“I’m afraid the healing pods - strong as they are, have a limit to the damages that can be corrected. Given the time it took the Blade attempting to heal Number 4, and then ultimately hand him over for our care...” he fiddles with his glorious mustache before shaking his head. “We should be ready to expect anything when he comes out. There's bound to be a problem or two.”

Lance looked at the occupied pod. His lips thinned to a fine line and place a hand on the cold barrier. “Problems? What kind of problems?”

“It’s hard to say what.” Coran tapped on the console connected to the pod. Two images appeared above it. “This,” he points to the image on the left, “was the state of Keith's mind when he left the pods after our last mission before his Blade training began.” Lance peered closely at the picture. It looked like your standard CT scan from a hospital, but there were a bunch of blue splotches all over. “Now this,” Coran swiped up to focus on the picture to the right, “is his mind at the moment.” Lance grimaced at the picture - unlike the first picture, there were angry red splotches on the lower and back portion of Keith's mind.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, presuming that his mind structure is similar to the rest of you,” Coran motions to the red, “this is where memories are stored.”

The space around both men was stiff. Lance's eyebrows furrowed and his lips jutted to a quivering pout. “Does that…” he gulped. “Does that mean he might not remember any of this? Me? Us? What we-”

The tall Altean placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder and firmly squeezed it.

“We won't know until he comes out. I haven't told the others yet, as I thought, well, it seemed like it was only proper to inform you first, my boy. Anything that happens, we'll face it head on; as a team.”

His comforting words did little to calm the bubbling anxiety in Lance's heart and mind. “Thanks Coran, I appreciate it.”

“Of course Number Three!” Coran said, using the hand on Lance's shoulder to slowly guide him out of the room. “Now, you should head out and join the others in the dining hall, it's just about that time, you know.”

“Oh, n-no, I'm good. I'm not even that hungry.” Lance attempted to convince him, but a loud grumble from his stomach betrayed his words.

Coran raised one of his eyebrows, clearly unimpressed. “Your body says otherwise.” With a firm shove, the older man pushed Lance through the threshold. “Come now, he'll be just fine, I'll notify you all the moment he starts to stir. Off you go now!”

The young Cuban tried to sputter out a retort but realized how fruitless the endeavor would be. He sighed, nodded, and made his way to the dining hall.

Sure enough, the rest of the paladins were in the dining hall, quiet and playing with their space goo in various manners. The swish of the doors sliding open drew their attention and everyone stood up once they saw Lance.

Allura's was the first voice to cut across. “Lance!” Is Keith awake yet?”

Lance lowered his gaze down to the table and shook 'no’ in response. “Coran says there might be some memory loss that the pods won't be able to fix.”

“O-oh.” Allura's eyes darted between Shiro and Lance. “I see, I'm... so sorry to hear that.”

Lance shrugged, too numb to find a proper reply. He walked over to his seat where Hunk was quick to hand over a bowl. “Thanks, dude.” He mumbled under his breath and tried to take a spoon or two down.

The goopy green substance tasted like sawdust and… and salty water? Pidge placed their hand over his and stopped him from taking another bite. Lance looked up and saw their big, round, young eyes staring at him with not much to say, but letting him know 'We feel your pain.’ His lips rolled into another pout and his vision blurred as he felt more of what was probably the reason for his salty space goo rolling down his cheeks.

The emotional dam he had filled to the brim since the Blade reached out half a movement ago felt like it reached its limit as the tears just kept coming. Lance covered his face with his free face and sobbed into it.

What was he going to do if Keith could remember who they were? What he and Lance had become? Their first date in the Space Mall, their first kiss in the middle of that dangerous mission in Rutah, the first time they said ‘I love you’?

What if, what if he didn't remember Lance at _all_? 

The lump in his throat made him choke out another sob.

Every tender moment, every stolen kiss in between joint missions with the Blade, every teasing moment up to them dating went through his mind.

The gang had gathered around Lance, their arms wrapping around each other and providing as much solace as one could when comforting a heartbroken fool in love.

\--

A quintant later, Lance was leaning against the wall of his boyfriend pod. A grinding sound disrupted his thoughts and when the support for his back started to give way, he spun up just in time to catch Keith's stumbling body.

He groaned and grabbed his head to try to appease the drumming of his temples. The grip on his arms was tense enough to make him realize he had fallen into someone's arms. Keith looked up and saw stunning blue eyes piercing his soul with a guarded look.

“Umm,” he looked around, “What happened? Why am I in the Castle of Lions?”

The pretty teen's eyes lit up and a smile blossomed on his face. He shifted his hold the half-Galra from a cautious support to a full blow hug, burrowing himself deep into Keith's neck.

“I was so worried, Keith.” Lance said, his voice muffled and thick with emotion. “You got hurt pretty bad in a Blade scouting mission. There was an ambush, and they brought you back, thank _God_ they brought you back. Coran said t-” Lance snapped his head away from Keith's shoulder and looked at him with wild, excited eyes. “Oh man, we gotta tell the others you're up!”

Lance rushed over to the comms on Coran’s podium. He paused for a moment to stare at the pod’s finishing imprint of Keith's mind, then shook his head and called the others over.

It took moments for everyone to flood in and welcome Keith back. Cheeks flushed and a small smile in tow, he let everyone get their share of hugs and teary welcomes in. Coran walked over to his console, ready to power it down when the image displayed caught his eye. He gripped the console tightly staring at the results and looked towards the group.

“Do you remember anything about the mission?” Pidge asked.

Keith shook his head. “Not really, but…” he trailed off, looking at the blue-eyed teen sitting dutifully next to him, then at Shiro. “Why did the Blade bring me here?”

“Cause they couldn't patch you up like they thought they could.” Hunk had offered, sensing an odd shift in the mood.

“That's _not_ what I mean, Hunk.” Keith replied, still maintaining eye contact with Shiro. “I’m not surprised that the Blade couldn't fix whatever was wrong with me. The Blade doesn't believe in 'saving’ their own. It's Knowledge or Death. You either contribute to the cause or die trying. Why, then, did they try to save me?”

Shiro's eyebrows furrowed, but they were the only indication that he had listened to Keith.

“When you left to the Blade, I had spoken with Kolivan. We agreed that if you were to ever be in a situation where you were incapacitated and they could pull you out, they would.” Shiro said with a stern voice. His eyes had shifted from suspicion to disappointment.

“That's not your call to make!” Keith growled out. 

“Woah, Keith, you can't be serious.” Lance said. A nervous chuckle bubbled out, trying to calm the growing panic inside. “That call saved your life, if not,” he placed his hand over Keith's clenched fist. “You would've, _I_ would've-”

Keith stood up and yanked his hand away from Lance's. “ _Why_ do you keep touching me!”

Lance gasped and placed a hand over his mouth. A cold miasma of realization swept through the room.

“Keith,” Allura began, slow and softly, as if she were approaching a cornered animal. “Do you know everyone in this room?”

He seemed startled by the question, and the first person he locked eyes with was the brown haired teen sitting on the bench he was just on.

Coran walked over to Lance and placed both hands on his shoulder. “Do you know who this is?”

Keith's anger waned to confusion. “Yeah, he's my replacement for Red.”

Whatever answer the team was looking for, that wasn't it.

“Say his name.” Coran demanded.

The pain in his chest made Lance understand he had heard the answer long before it came out.

Keith scoffed, looking at everyone before turning back to Lance.

“How would I know that?”


	2. Fire

When Keith saw Lance playing in the Castle’s pool one day, he had thought, ‘It’s so odd to have such a strong affinity to water.’

Odd for Keith, anyway. 

How could anyone like water _that_ much, when all it did was soak and chill you to the bone?

He was someone that was always drawn to the warmth of flames. All his life, adults had told him to be careful of his fiery attitude. But the same fire that others had always been so cautious around, so scared of, made him feel protected.

Safe.

Secure.

Over the course of the years they were by each other's side, Shiro had instilled (at least, tried to) the concept of yin and yang - balance, order in chaos, the interconnection of opposite forces working in tandem.

Which most likely explained his attraction to Lance, someone who was quite possibly the antithesis of his soul. Where he was broody and to himself, Lance was charming and outgoing. Where he caused tension, Lance offered support. Where he was a volcano ready to erupt, Lance was soothing waves landing on shore.

It was frustrating beyond belief.

But it was just as exhilarating.

The next movement, they had gone on a mission to extract data from a Galran base. It was supposed to be a quick in and out with Pidge manning the surveillance, and Hunk in his Lion, ready to swoop in if needed.

Just as Keith had yanked the holodisk from its port, alarms blared around the room. Sparks flew out of the console he had finished using and the dry air in the computer room quickly grew the sparks into flames. He clicked his tongue as he took a step back from the fire. It was an annoying security measure, but hardly something to worry about since he already pulled the data out thanks to Pidge's malware.

The door behind Lance had tried to clamp shut, but he rushed underneath it and grabbed the bottom of the door as it began to slide down. He gasped as he wiggled the door with his hand and yelled for Keith to get out of the room.

Keith rushed out and saw Lance still under the door, fighting its closing mechanism.

“Lance! What are you waiting for let's go!”

Lance grunted as the door’s weight shifted him to his knees. “I can't let go of the door, I'm stuck!”

Keith rushed under the door to provide support, but Lance rushed out, “Don't touch the door on the control room’s side! My armor is stuck to it like a magnet, or something.”

_“Guys, you need to get out of there, sentries will be on that floor any tick!”_

Keith kneeled under the door to face and support Lance, carefully making sure his hand didn’t touch the side of the door his teammate was pinned to. He grabbed Lance’s forearm and tugged on it as hard as he could, but it didn’t budge. He looked at Lance, who was staring in fear at the flames growing in the computer room by the tick. Sweat was clamming the skin on both their faces as the heat intensified.

They were running out of time.

His eye darted around wildly .“There has to be something, something we're missing, we just need to try ha-”

“Keith.” Lance breathed out. Keith's eyes widened and his lips thinned to a line, focusing his entire attention to the teen that captivated his heart so dearly. Lance stared at the room for a moment longer before sharply looking at him. “Keith, you need to go.”

The half-Galra shook his head. “If you think I'm leaving you, you... you're even a bigger moron than I thought you were!” The doors weight grew on top of them, causing them to wince and hunch a little bit closer to the ground.

“Keith,” Lance said in the same tone, a sad smile ghosting over his mouth. “I'm stuck. We don't have enough time.”

Keith shook his head with more fervor. Tears were starting to prick the corners of his eyes. “I- no! I can't! You, I- I-”

Lance leaned towards Keith and tilted his head. He pressed his lips against Keith's ever so gently. Fireworks began to burst in both of their chests. They consumed each other in that one motion, that one connection until the sound of footfall became clearer.

When Lance shifted away, he saw Keith still leaning forward with his eyes closed. He smiled, savoring as much of the sight as possible. Slowly, thick eyebrows furrowed in confusion and beautiful, violet eyes fluttered open.

“I love you too. Now, go save the universe, Samurai.”

Before Keith could gather his thoughts, Lance raised his least supported knee and kicked Keith out from under the door. In the same motion, he rolled under the door towards the opposite side.

By the time Keith leapt to his feet, the door had slammed down shut, cutting off the heat source that was pouring into the hall. He screamed at the door to open, banging on it hoping that the next strike would let him through.

Pidge was yelling through their intercoms, stressing the Galra forces that were responding to the alarm. Hunk was assuring everyone in a panicked screech that he was clawing through the base.

Shiro was demanding an update.

It didn’t matter. 

Keith placed his hands on the warm metal door and felt an unholy weight fall on his shoulders. He dropped to his knees, the door's warmth filling him with a sick feeling.

It was so odd to like fire.

Odd for Keith, anyway.

How could anyone like fire, when all it did was burn everything around it?


	3. Fear

“Hey, Hunk!” Keith called out, running to the Yellow Paladin. He turned around at the sound of his name and grinned. Running up to his friend, Hunk swooped him into his arms and gave him a welcome hug.

“Keith, buddy! I didn’t know you were coming back this quick!”

The young Blade initiate smiled, still smooshed against Hunk’s chest. “I funnished errly.” He muffled out. Hunk let him down and Keith let out a soft cough. “As soon as we wrapped up our debriefing, I took the next shuttle out.” His smile turned a bit shyer, and he asked, “Do you know where Lance is?”

Hunk’s smile turned goofy, “Oooh~, am I not good enough, Keithy-poo?”

A deep blush bloomed on his face. “Umm, I, uh...”

He waved him off. “Just kidding. Last I saw him, he was heading to talk to Allura about something. Check the training room, if not they should be in her room.”

Keith visibly recoiled. “Her _room_? Why would he be in her room?”

“Well, ever since Lance was able to form the broadsword, Allura really started to take his input to heart. While Shiro’s been playing bodyguard to Lotor, Lance has started to shine with his strategic planning. They've spent a lot of time discussing next moves, which is like, hey, fine by me, you know?”

Keith nodded, “Y-yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. I'll see you later, Hunk.”

The walk to the training hall was fine enough, but when he saw it was empty, a gnawing unease crept into his bones.

To Allura’s quarters it is.

This walk was much harder than the last.

Each step down the corridors of the Castle felt heavier than the other.

It's okay.

Hunk said this was good. Lance was finally getting the respect that he's been fighting so hard for. That _was_ good. He was happy for Lance.

It wasn't weird that he was spending time in Allura's private quarters. They probably worked into the night with coalition efforts.

It's okay.

He turned to the hall that held her room. Far away from the other rooms. So much privacy to be held.

Steps away from the doors, he heard laughter. Which was oddly relieving? If he walked into an empty room, he'd probably freak out even more. And laughing, that was also good. The stresses of leading the coalition were probably overwhelming at times, and-

“Aaah~”

Keith stopped inches from the door sensors.

A moan. Allura just moaned.

It's… still okay! Maybe she was feeling tense and Lance thought she could use a massage.

A very friendly, very platonic shoulder massage.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest. But, he trusted Lance. Lance said he loved him. He loves Lance.

A small step forward caused sliding doors to swing open.

The last vestige of trust holding Keith's heart snapped, and he could almost hear the sound of his heart breaking.

It was definitely not okay.

On her table, in a dimly lit room with papers thrown haphazardly, was Allura and Lance. She laid down on her back with her dress pushed down to the shoulders. Her eyes were closed, face contorted in pleasure and a hand snaked under Lance's shirt. Lance propped himself on the table hovering over her. His face nuzzled deep against her neck.

It's not okay. It's not okay. It's not okay. 

Hot tears rolled down Keith's cheeks. He couldn't move to wipe them away, just continued to stare at the intimate betrayal before him.

It was hard to tell what was worse, finding Allura in his arms, or knowing that the last time he was here, he was in her spot.

“Oh, LaaANCE.” Allura opened her eyes and drifted to the light pouring from the open door and saw Keith. She quickly pushed Lance away and moved to pull up her sleeves.

The blue eyes Brutus that had betrayed Keith on a level he hadn't thought possible stood rigidly straight, still facing Allura, and turned.

Even in the dimness of the room and the sun-kissed nature of his skin, Lance's face seemed to drain of all blood.

“K-Keith. You're not supposed to be here for another 3 quintants.” He said in an off tone.

Keith's eyes continued to dart between the two. At least they had the decency to look embarrassed.

“I… finished early and wanted to surprise you.” He offered lamely. “I didn't, I never… I _trusted_ you, Lance.”

“Keith, I-”

“You know I have abandonment issues!” He shouted over his lover's words. Hand clenched into tight fists, Keith continued. “If you, if you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could have told me!” Another sob. “This is terrible, why, how could you? How could you do this?” 

Tears were free falling from his face, but Lance's cheeks were as dry as a desert heat. He just looked at him with pity.

Disgust.

“Keith,” Lance sighed out, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “You… you knew I like girls. You had to have realized this was never going to last.”

Keith grabbed his hair with both hands. He pulled at his roots, trying to reign in his sanity.

“I can't believe this, I can't believe _you_. Are you seriously trying to shift the blame on me?!”

“No, I'm just saying-”

Keith turned, no longer able to stand the pain in his heart and the man he loved staring at him with such distant eyes, and ran.

_It's not okay. It's not okay. It's not okay._

He gasped for air he didn't know he was missing and sat up straight in his bed. It was dark, but he could feel the heat to his right, the sound of drowsy shuffling.

“Keith?” The voice slurred out, sleep still clinging to their words.

Lance.

A dream.

A premonition?

No. A nightmare.

Keith felt the sorrow of his nightmare ache in his chest and new, fresh tears fell.

“Woah, hey,” Lance sat up as quick as he could and lifted his boyfriend's chin with his index finger. “Keith, baby, what's wrong?”

He looked up, into those beautiful, caring ocean eyes that moments ago were staring at him like he was an embarrassment. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance's neck and cried, haggard and rough sobs shaking his body.

“Shhhh, everything is okay. I'm here, I'm here, don't worry, it was just a nightmare.” He peppered the side of Keith's head with soft kisses and rubbed small circles into his back.

They stayed wrapped in each arms until all that was left of his episode was bloodshot eyes and a giant wet spot on Lance's nightshirt.

“Sorry about your shirt,” Keith mumbled, wiping the last of his tears and snot away.

Lance waved it off, “No biggie, now, are you gonna tell me about what you dreamt? My abuela told me the best way to make sure a nightmare doesn't return is to talk about it.”

Keith, reluctantly, told him about the dream.

“I- I know you would never really do that, but _quiznak_ , it felt so real. I've never done anything like this before, and… and I didn't know my heart could hurt so much. The thought of losing you scares me so much.”

Lance played with the hem of his shirt and, after a moment, looked up.

“I pray for you every night you're not here.”

“Wha?”

Lance nodded firmly. “Sometimes, the fear of losing you, although in a different way, gets me so bad that I sneak into the control room and look up recent Blade movements in our system.”

“Lance…”

“What I mean is that this war, these fights... nothing's promised to us. But,” he reached to grab Keith's hand and placed them over his heart. “That just means what we found, in this sea of destruction, is that more precious. I get that my being bi can make you feel nervous, that it means there's that much more competition out there for you to be worried about.” Lance pulled his lips to a frown, “but at the same time, I don't get it! I'm so devoted to you, it makes me wonder if I'll ever stop falling for you. No one should ever make you worry about my loyalty to you, _especially_ not the Princess.” He snorted. “Sure, I had a crush on her before, but now I'm like the annoying younger brother she never wanted. Kissing her would be like making out with my real sis, Veronica.” His face scrunched in horror and Keith couldn't help but laugh.

“I know,” he sniffed. “Really, I do. It's just hard getting over this fear of abandonment. Kro- Mom has been trying, and so have I, but… it's hard trying to fight a fear that's been around for 15 years.”

Lance scooched closer to kiss the lid of his boyfriend's eyes. “You'll get there, we'll both be here to make sure of it.”

They both laid back in bed, with Keith resting his head on Lance's shoulder.

“I love you.” He whispered into Lance's shirt.

Lance tightened his hold on Keith.

“I love you too, Mullet. Now let's hit the hay, Kolivan’s gonna have my head if you miss your shuttle.”


	4. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention! But, yes, this IS a continuation off of Day 2 [Fire] :)

There was something calming about dreaming of nothing. To be aware of the blank void that consumed your very essence, and know only that void.

“Keith, psst, Keith.” A voice cut through the darkness. He felt the nothingness warp into colors and the motion of consciousness wake his mind. The tickling sensation of someone's presence allows him to blearily motion his head to that person.

His eyes creaked open and saw Pidge kneeled down next to him, a plate of space goo in their hand. They placed it down in front of him and nudged it a little.

“I'm under strict orders to not leave until you've eaten at least half of it.” They sniffed. “I don't know if you've ever seen Hunk angry, but I haven't, and I plan on keeping it that way.” They said, offering a lopsided smile.

Keith looked at Pidge, then the bowl, and back at Pidge.

“I don't... I'm not really in the mood.”

They puffed out an exasperated sigh.

“You think Lance wants to come out of there to a bag of bones?” Their eyes gave him a once over and frowned. “You're practically emaciated. If you keep this up, Shiro is gonna throw you in a pod again, and what would be worse? Not being there to greet Lance when he comes to, or how sad you'll make him when he finds out he put you in that pod?”

Keith felt his stomach lurch at the thought and hesitantly picked up the spoon on his plate.

Pidge sat down with their legs cross and propped their head with their hands. Sharp brown eyes followed his motion of picking up tiny bites and forcing them down.

“No one thinks it's your fault, you know.”

The spoon fell with a loud clatter and Keith is honestly too scared to see what kind of face their making.

Pidge continues, “The mission went South. It happens. We're all equally to blame. Shiro and Allura should have gotten more Intel from the Blade before sanctioning the mission. Hunk should have gotten there faster. I should've scanned the room schematics rather than focus on the computer architecture.”

Keith looked down at the plate.

“You weren't there.” He said, just above a whisper. “If I was faster, he wouldn't have needed to hold the door open. His hand wouldn't have gotten magnetically bonded to the room. He wouldn't have…”

Images of the flames being extinguished by a furious Blue came to mind. Flying into the charred room after Yellow clawed a hole into the room. Seeing his crumpled body, partially melted armor.

The _smell_.

Allura had told them that Blue used so much residual quintessence to keep Lance alive long enough to make it to a pod, that the moment she landed in the dock, she powered down.

Lance was alive, somehow, and was hanging by the frailest string.

Four quintants later, Coran had informed the team that it isn’t clear when the pods would release him.

His body, the burns (quiznak the _burns_ ) were patched up without an issue, but Lance's body had been thrown into such a large state of shock, that his mind was completely unresponsive to the pod’s treatment and at this point, Lance's fight was his own to finish.

Vargas after Coran broke the news, Keith wandered into the kitchen in a daze. Hunk was making cookies to try to lighten the mood and was happy to see the Red Paladin in the dining hall. Keith opened the oven baking Hunk's cookies and felt the puff of heat hit his face. The thought that Lance baking in the heat of the room like those cookies disgusted Keith, and compelled him to place his hand directly on the rack.

The pain was enough to tear a scream out of Keith and cause nothing but white to flood his vision. 

But Lance had felt worse, he knew he did, so Keith persisted. What was a few seconds of heat on your hand compared to your entire body being broiled, wrapped in metal armor for almost a quarter varga?

Hunk almost fainted when he pulled Keith away from the oven and saw that nasty boils were already littering his hand.

It took both Hunk and Shiro to drag him into a pod and when he came out, they threatened to start a rotation of permanent Keith Watches.

He pushed the plate towards Pidge the moment he ate more than half and sat up to view Lance's slightly troubled face.

The youngest Holt glanced at the plate, then Keith, and sighed again. They picked the plate up and walked away.

Since the incident two movements ago, Keith has spent every waking moment by his side. There were many moments in between where he woke up in his bed and his back had Shiro, Hunk, and the occasional Coran or Allura to that for that. 

The team was kind enough to give him as much time alone with Lance as he wanted. They were handling their own pretty well without him, which was hardly a surprise. Outside of piloting their Lions, he never really put himself out there for them to miss his presence. 

Not like Lance.

“You’re so stupid.” He said to the pod, his forehead pressed against it. “So, _so_ stupid.” The ache in his chest ebbs and flows like waves, and he's reminded of the Cuban in front of him, and his love of the sea.

All the promises they made about what to do after the war echo in his mind. Seeing the sunset on Veradero Beach. Meeting Lance's family. Going to the Fire Festival. They were spoken under the pretenses of friendship, but after their kiss, Keith sees them in such a stronger light.

And it hurts.

So much.

A phoeb after placing Lance in the pod, Keith began to understand what was really happening. He woke up and under the pain he has felt for so long, was an eerie calm.

“I can't stop thinking about that mission, and even though I _hate_ that you did it, I'm so proud to have someone like you on our team. I don’t-” A lump forms in his throat thinking of the fierce kiss Lance gave him before sacrificing himself. “I don’t deserve your love, but I want it so bad. That’s, that’s pretty selfish isn’t it?”

Keith locks his sight on the cords connecting the pods to their power source.

“Coran said he doesn't know when you're going to wake up.” He's staring at the cords, fixated on what they truly mean. “But, I don't think that's true. I think he doesn't know _if_ you're going to wake up.”

He remembers Lance gloating one day that he was the first Cuban student accepted in the Garrison. “You've been fighting an uphill battle since before we met. I can't even imagine what kind of battle you're fighting right now. You've fought so hard. You've done so well.”

The emotions he's feeling are impossible to describe, they leave him dizzy and his mind in a swirl.

“I would do anything, _anything_ , to trade places with you. To see you out of that pod.”

He breaks his trance from the power cords and looks up at Lance.

“But… Sometimes what we want, isn't necessarily what we get.”

“If this battle is too hard to beat, you can let go. It’s okay to let go. Give me a sign, anything, to tell me what you want, and I'll respect it.”

No matter what Lance chooses, Keith will follow him.

It's the least he could do.

Loud beeping emits from the pod, startling the young teen. He grips the pod’s glass, looking at the digital windows popping up on it's screen. Keith knew very little written Altean, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what it meant.

His knees shook and went weak, folding at the base of the pod. He covered his mouth to suppress a sob and cried out what felt like the last of his tears.

—

There's nothing around him, or maybe everything.

Lance can’t recall the moment he entered this realm, or how he got here.

His feet were firmly planted on a non-existent plane, but it still felt like he was floating.

To his left, was blinding light. To his right, darkness. He stood at what felt like directly in the middle where they bled into each other with a murky grey.

How long has he been here - hours, weeks, years?

Was he dead? In limbo? In hell?

If this was Heaven, he'd like to file a complaint.

He hears distorted voices now and then, they feel so close, he tries to reach out into the nothingness to grab hold of the sound. Sometimes, they’re loud and angry, but for the most part, it's soft and sad.

Lance would chew his foot off to understand what they say.

It's at that point that Lance figured the only way to get out is to make a decision.

Left or right. Right or left.

Does he do what the movies say, where running to the light meant death and concurrently, darkness meant coming back to life?

Or is it the other way around?

Should he ignore all of that and just follow his gut?

What _was_ his gut trying to tell him?

God, was he tired. In the beginning, he felt no need to rest, but the exhaustion was creeping in more often than not. Sleep had yet to grace him in the undetermined amount of time he spent here, and it sounded so tempting.

What would happen if he just… closed his eyes? 

_“Sometimes what we want, isn't necessarily what we get.”_

What the-?

“Keith?” He shouted into the void. “Keith, is that you?”

_“It's okay to let go.”_

The disembodied voice wraps itself around his soul. Ripples of sadness and resolve were echoing in his mind. Lance screamed and tugged at his hair. “I don't understand what you're saying!”

_“Tell me what you want, and I'll respect it.”_

A strong force slammed his chest. Lance fell to the non-floor and choked out a cry.

His heartbeat. 

He gasped for air and realized that in his entire time in nothingness, he had not once felt his heartbeat.

A strangled noise escaped his throat as he felt the pound in his chest again.

And again.

Something instinctual tells him that the void is ejecting him, and it's time to decide.

Gathering his strength, Lance stumbles back up, clenches his fist over his chest, and starts to walk. Step by step. The harsh sound of bells ring over and over again in his ears. Lance still can't tell if where he's going leads to life, death, or nowhere at all. 

But he thinks about the team, his family, everyone on Earth and everyone in the Universe depending on them. On him.

Lance feels Keith reaching out to him, like a beacon, and that's enough to move forward. 

Towards the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I gotta be honest, I managed to clench on to this one with by the skin of my teeth, but tomorrow's prompt is throwing me for a loop. @.@ Gotta go look for some inspiration!


	5. Ruin

Lance paced around and around in his best friend’s room. His nerves were jittery and he took deep breaths in and out, in and out.

“Buddy, you're gonna dig yourself into the floor.”

“Huh?”

“The floor,” Hunk repeated, flicking a lazy finger out to point at it. “You're burning a hole in it.”

Lance glanced down at his feet and saw the marks he scuffed on the ground.

“Ugh, that's not- what am I gonna do?” He flailed his arms around to emphasize each of his whined words. 

“Uhh, what you _said_ you were gonna do? Spill your guts out to Keith?” Hunk quirked an eyebrow up and made a kissy face while framing his face with his hands. He pulled out his best imitation of Lance and screeched out, _“‘Oh Keith, your muscles make me feel are tingly, gimme some sugar’_ ” 

Lance's felt his right eye twitch, and jumped on top of Hunk, pushing him down on his bed. “I don't sound like that!!” He screeched back, grabbing his best friend's shirt and shaking him back and forth.

Through the shaking, Hunk replied back in the same slightly high-pitched imitation. _“I don't sound like that! I’d totes be too busy staring at his butt to say something that embarra- hahaha!”_ The bigger paladin dissolved into uncontrollable laughter.

Lance stopped shaking him and plopped his face into Hunk's shirt, letting out a pitiful whine. 

“I really like him, Hunk. I don't wanna mess this up.” He said with his voice muffled by the shirt.

Hunk sighed and let his head rest on the bed. He placed a hand on Lance's back and rubbed small circles into it.

“I know you do, dude. Just… just be honest and open about your feelings. You got this.”

\--

Step by step, Lance took long strides heading to Keith's room. 'Gotta rip the bandage right off. Just spill your guts, spill your-’

_“I… don't quite understand why you've told me this, Keith.”_

What was Allura doing in Keith’s room? Lance paused and leaned against one of the columns near Keith’s room.

_“Well, I can't tell Pidge or Hunk, they'd look at me like I've grown two heads. Could you even imagine me going up to Coran?”_

_“And... Shiro?”_

_“I… I've never told him something like this before. If he rejected me…”_

_“Oh Keith, he would never, he loves you.”_

_“Ha, I… the thought of himself rejecting me is just. I don't know what I'd do.”_

_“I understand. I suppose that means that Lance is out of the question.”_

_“Are you kidding? Why do you think I’m here? I'd rather stick my head through an active teleduv. I'd rather go out in space wearing nothing but Kaltenecker’s bell. I'd rather-”_

_“Okay, okay, I understand. Well, regardless, I suggest talking sooner than later. The last thing you want is for someone to stroll along and pick him up. I may even take a swing myself!”_ She teased with a mischievous tune.

 _“Har har, you're so funny Princess.”_ He replied drily. 

Their conversation made Lance sick to his stomach. He clasped his hand to his mouth to stop a painful gasp from escaping. 

How much of an idiot was he? This entire time, whenever he was throwing feelers or cautiously flirted with Keith, the _entire_ time it was Shiro that Keith liked? Shiro that Keith was planning on confessing to?

His chest feels like glass is shimmering from the cracks in his broken heart.

On top of all of that, he said he’d rather jump into space then talk to Lance about whatever he was going through? How, how could he say something so hurtful so casually? Did Keith _really_ hate spending time with him that much?

Lance runs off crying before they could find out he was even there.

\--

The shame of thinking he had a chance with Keith stops him from going to Hunk for comfort and Lance holes up inside his room at first.

But the anger, the betrayal of Keith's words have him livid. He decides to make use of the fury and storms off to the training room. 

He's there for no more than half a varga when he hears the main doors slide and prays, prays to every and any God listening that it's not-

“Lance? What are you doing here?”

Keith.

Lance would've liked to find out there was no God another way. He clenched his teeth and cut down the bot in front of him with a bit more intensity than was needed.

“Training.” He curtly said with his back still facing Keith.

The other teen seemed to not pick up on his tone because he walked over and called out to end the training simulation.

“I wanted to see if you had a second to talk.”

 _‘That’s rich.’_ Lance thought, trying hard to maintain the strand of civility he was giving Keith.

“I wasn’t finished, and nope, I’m good.” Lance threw down the practice sword he used in place of a blade and walked over to one of the walls of the training room to grab a hydration packet.

Keith deflated a little, but sped up to match Lance’s speed.

“O-oh, okay, maybe we can talk after training?”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “What training?”

“The team training?” Keith offered, “I… I thought that’s why you were here?”

Lance grit his teeth. Of course he’d forget about a stupidly convenient team training that was today.

“I forgot,” he said simply. “And, I don't think so.”

“What? I don't understand.”

“I. Don't. Want to. Speak to you.”

“Did- did I do something wrong?”

Lance couldn’t tell what hurt more, Keith's conversation with Allura, or the fact that he was trying to pretend like he never said it.

“I don't need to explain my actions to you. And honestly? I'm surprised you even want to talk to me.”

“Lance, this isn't funny, tell me what's going on!”

“No. Go stick your head in a teleduv.”

He sneered out mockingly.

Keith's already pale face looked downright ghostly.

“You, you eavesdropped on me and Allura?”

Lance scoffed. “Trust me, I wish I hadn't.”

His answer stunned Keith into silence. Before he could respond, the rest of the team came in for their sparring lesson.

\--

“Alright, team!” Shiro called out to gather everyone around. “We’re going to work on some sword combat. Grab the practice swords, then Allura and Pidge go over there, Hunk and I will take this section, and Keith and Lance can go over there.”

Lance sighed, picked his sword back up, and trudged over to their spot. Keith looked lost at what to do, so he followed suit.

“Lance, I don't know what you think you heard, but please, just let me explain.”

The Cuban stretched his limbs out in an effort to purposely avoid looking at Keith. “I heard more than enough.”

Keith felt the frustration tear at his patience. “Ugh, you’re not listening!”

“I don’t need to.” Lance rolled his neck. “Let’s just hurry this up so that you can go suck Shiro off or something.”

“ _What_?” Keith back away, unconsciously raising his hand to guard his body. “Lance, that's _disgusting_.”

Lance thought about how close he thought he thought he had gotten with Keith, and how wrong he apparently was. 

“ _You're_ disgusting.” He spat out.

Keith stared at him in shock, truly, truly not believing that he heard Lance say that. Shock turned to shame and embarrassment, which quickly turned to fury and he bared his teeth. He threw his training sword to the ground, let out a pained scream and tackled Lance to the ground. They both fell with an 'oomph’ and immediately tried to land as many hits as possible. Keith slammed his fist into Lance’s jaw and temple. Lance blocked the next attack and flip them around, switching places. He grabbed Keith by the hair with one hand and punched him twice in the face with the other, feeling a sickening delight in watching Keith's skin break. He moved his attention to Keith's ribs and started to pummel that instead.

Pidge was the first to notice the brawl and threw their sword down at Allura’s feet. Allura looked confused and Pidge frantically pointed at the two boys, “Jesus, Allura! Keith and Lance!”

Allura turned and quickly called out to Shiro. He turned and threw down his sword the second everything clicked. Both Allura and Shiro ran to break the both of them apart.

“What is the meaning of this!” Allura asked, aghast at the sudden fight. 

Lance wiggled out of her grasp and collected the blood in his mouth, spitting it out to the side. He saw Shiro both holding back and using his body to shield Keith from Lance.

Well wasn't _that_ touching?

He stormed off, hoping to leave before anyone caught sight of his tears.

Allura, Pidge, and Hunk watched wordlessly as he walked away and turned their attention

“Keith,” Shiro gripped his shoulders firmly. The younger teen bowed his head down, refusing to talk or look at him. “Talk to me, Keith. What the hell was that?”

He let out a whimper and mumbled something to Shiro outside of the hearing range of the other three still in the room. Shiro's eyes widened and pulled Keith into a hug. Gently, he stroked his hair, whispering words into Keith's ears. Keith shakily reached up and grabbed Shiro's forearms. They slid down to the ground and Keith unraveled the emotions he tried to control since talking to Allura. He cried and yelled into Shiro's hug.

“Oh no,” Allura clicked her tongue and covered her mouth once she realized what had happened. “Oh no…”

Hunk looked between the three, trying to understand what must have happened in between his talk with Lance and the fight that broke out, but was at a loss. He ran out of the room to look for Lance and figure out how something that was supposed to be beautiful (or at the very least, hopeful) became twisted and nasty.

“Lance?” He knocked on the door three times. “Lance, I'm only knocking to be polite, I'm totally just gonna walk in.” Doing just that, Hunk walked into his friend's room at saw him huddled up in the corner of his bed.

Hunk crawled on the bed to join him and offered a bag of frozen space goo. When Lance cautiously looked at it, he explained, “For your jaw.”

Lance took it with a soft 'Thanks’ and hissed as the cold bag touched his skin.

They sat in silence for longer than Hunk would've liked, but his patience is one of his highest virtues. That and cooking. So, he’d stay as long as Lance needed him to.

“I ruined it.”

Hunk frowned and reached out to pull the blankets covering Lance's face. He winced at the touch but allowed Hunk to take it off.

He felt pity seeing his friend's face. Lance looked like the epitome of misery. Tears and snot were dripping off his face, eyebrows tightened down and his small red-rimmed eyes were squinted to stop the flow of more tears. The hit Keith clocked in had swollen his jaw an impressive amount. 

“What happened, man?”

The smaller paladin curled in tighter and when he spoke, his voice was cracked and scared.

“I went to talk to him, and he was already talking in his room to Allura.” Lance sniffed and grabbed a tissue from his night table to clean his face. “He was talking about how she was the only one he could vent to. That you Pidge and Coran wouldn't understand. That he couldn't bear to have Shiro reject him,” Hunk took a sharp intake. “Yeah, and Allura said, 'hey, why don't you talk to Lance about it?’ and he said he'd rather get thrown in space then talk to me.”

Lance rubbed his eyes between each sentence, finding it harder and harder to keep himself composed. “I don't, I didn't even- I ran away, Hunk!” He cried out. “God, I was so hurt and angry, and I cried and _cried_ until all I felt was anger. I went to the training room to blow off some steam, and _of course_ , he walks in. I just, I snapped.” He covered his face in shame. “I said some messed up stuff. Ugh, I’m… I’m the worst.”

Hunk apprehensively asked, “Do you not want anything to do with Keith now that you know he likes Shiro?”

“What?” Lance asked back, confused. “No! Of course not! It's _because _I like him so much that made what he said upset me so much! If he likes Shiro, I'm not going to get in the way of that.” He sighed, feeling the weight of resignation build up. “At the end of the day, I still wanna see that stupid mug light up, even if it's not me doing it.”__

____

____

Hunk placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then you're not the worst, you're hurt and human. It happens. Should you still apologize for what you said? Oh yeah, big time.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lance said.

“It's crazy that Keith likes Shiro though.”

“Hunk, please, my heart is still in pieces.”

He raised his hands defensively. “I'm just saying! At least to me, they always kind of came off as family inste-”

The doors to Lance's room slid open and Shiro came in without hesitation.

“Shiro!” Lance brought his blanket closer to his body, not sure what their leader was planning to do after waltzing into his room.

He looked at Hunk, then Lance, briefly looking at the jaw Lance was still nursing with partially thawed space goo.

“How's your jaw?” Shiro asked with crossed arms.

“O-oh, um, it's better now that I'm icing it.”

“Okay, that's good to hear.” Shiro said. He uncrossed his arms, used his human hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Now, what I'm about to say is as a brother and has no standing as the leader of our team, alright?”

“A… brother?” Both Lance and Hunk echoed.

Shiro seemed to take that as a yes because he bent down to grab Lance by the front of his shirt and pulled him out of the bed. Lance yelped as he was yanked from the blankets into standing up in front of the black paladin.

“Dude!” Hunk called out.

“Hunk, while I appreciate your wanting to de-escalate the situation, this is between me, Lance, and Keith.” Shiro barked out without breaking eye contact with Lance. Hunk withered in response and everything made Lance that more nervous. His eyes grew wide and beady, and he could feel sweat building.

“You made Keith cry.” Shiro growled out with a vicious snarl. “He’s always had such a hard time letting people in, and _you_ of all people made him cry. You’re gonna march to his room, apologize, and beg for forgiveness. Because if he _doesn’t_ forgive you, we’re going to have problems.” Shiro paused, and added as an afterthought, “Again, no bearing on how we interact as teammates. But as his older brother, it’s my job to protect him, so you _better_ not make me have this talk again.” Shiro slowly uncurled his Galran hand from Lance’s shirt and took a step back.

“Older brother.” Lance breathed out.

Keith was never talking about _liking_ Shiro. He was talking about being _accepted_ by Shiro, he said Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t understand because Hunk was straight, and Pidge was more in love with their computer than anything else.

Keith was talking about liking _him_.

“Quiznak, I _really_ ruined everything.”

Shiro placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder and tried not to smirk when he flinched. “Keith will hear you out. Just be patient and don’t run off if he tries to push you away. But seriously, go. Now.”

With his heart racing at the speed of light, Lance nodded and ran out of his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slowly becoming more undone trying to make sure I get these in before midnight lmao, I also find myself regretting not having each chapter as their own story and just tying the works together outside of it @.@
> 
> If I haven't replied yet, i will try to sometime tomorrow? maybe? bluuh


	6. Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit spicy! Not enough to warrant a Mature rating, but enough to give a heads up first!

Contrary to popular belief, Lance was always very attuned to his partner’s feelings. Empathy was his biggest strong suit and he was proud of it.

Granted, he's only ever had experience with women and it usually meant he could see a break-up happen a mile away, but he was still proud of it!

When he started dating Keith, he could read Keith's emotions like an open book. He could tell when his boyfriend was embarrassed, being coy, teasing, flustered, upset, confused, irritated. Like a composer, with each and every emotion, Lance spun and wove his loving responses to make sure Keith enjoyed his presence.

Some would think it exhausting, but Lance found it enthralling because he found Keith enthralling.

In the five phoebs they've seen each other, Lance could tell that this was different. They were different. Better different. The girls he dated (however brief), couldn't hold a candle to what Keith made him feel, the connection they had. Granted, those girls never piloted a Lion Mecha to save the universe with him. 

Keith, although shy with initiating intimacy, never turned down a chance to smooch.

And damn, if he wasn't a good kisser.

Their not so secret rendezvous in supply closets or empty rooms before missions and briefings were intense and passionate.

In one of these rendezvous, Lance sensed the air in the room and felt Keith’s pulse racing. He kissed his _impossibly_ soft lips and pulled away to admire the way his black hair was tussled, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes blown out. Lance gently brushed his thumb over Keith’s lip, light enough to mimic a feather and smirked when he sent a shiver down Keith’s back. He moaned with the shiver and the noise he made turned Lance inside out.

He wanted more, so much more, and _knew_ Keith felt the same.

“Let’s head to my room.” He whispered low and softly in Keith’s ear.

Keith immediately stiffened and untangled himself from their hold on each other. “U-umm, I don't…” He turned his face away from Lance. “Maybe some other time?”

Lance flinched, feeling like his hands had been burned by his words, but knew better than to pull away from his boyfriend.

“O-oh, yeah! ‘Course, no pressure, babe.” He caressed the side of Keith's face with a shaky hand. He kissed his forehead and hugged him before guiding them out of the room and saying goodnight for the evening.

When Lance went to his room, to his bed, he curled up in his blanket. He didn't think too much about the sting in his heart, because it's not unusual to read a situation wrong. If Keith wasn't ready to move to the next step, the last thing Lance was going to do was try to push. 

Over the next few phoebs, Lance would _think_ he read Keith's signs correctly and every time, Keith would turtle up and shy away from his touch. It didn't help that his empathy radar was apparently busted, because he would only try to initiate something after he was _sure_ Keith wanted to. But every time, Lance scrambled to recover and convince Keith he wasn't a horndog. Because he wasn't!

He just wanted to feel every inch of his body, feel it pressed against him, hear him cry out his name.

_‘Calm down. Take it easy Lancey Lance.’_

“This is gonna sound a little weird, but… are you, like, would you call yourself a sexual person?” He asked Keith one day after training.

Keith choked on the hydration packet he was drinking and turned a furious shade of red. “Not really!” He yelped out. Lance saw his shoulders hunch up slightly and knew the telltale signs of Keith becoming uncomfortable, but needed to get this sorted out.

“So like, would you call yourself asexual? Which is like, not a problem at all! I'm just… wondering, is all.”

Keith laughed nervously and responded with, “Who could really say?”

It did little to soothe Lance's anxiety, but it was better than nothing.

\--

Until it wasn't.

Lance woke up from a nightmare one night and went to the showers to clean the sweat off. As he approached the showers he heard one of the shower heads on. Curious, he didn't call out to the person, but silently walked over.

Then he heard Keith moan.

His heart skipped a beat and wondered if he should just turn around and go back to bed, but the need for confirmation go the best of him. Lance turned the last corner for the shower room and saw Keith, in all his glory with his back facing Lance and making a stroking motion that was impossible to doubt. Lance felt his blood rush and hurried out before Keith saw him.

The anxiety that was building up since Keith first sidestepped his advances was reaching critical mass.

So, at the very least, Keith did have _some_ type of active libido.

Then why didn't he want to do anything past intense makeouts?

He found he couldn't wait long to confront Keith. The next day, as they laid in his bed, Lance asked, “When's the last time you jerked off?”

“Whu- _Lance_!” Keith shrieked out, and scrambled out of the covers they were cuddling under.

“Dude, chill, I'm just wondering!” He sat up with the young Asian, acting like he was as relaxed as he could be. “I feel like as your BF for almost a deca-phoeb, I can ask something like that.”

Keith stammered to find a retort and tried to cover the blush on his face with one of his hands. “I- I guess? Umm… I don't even remember the last time, I really couldn't say.”

Wow. That hurt a lot more than he thought it was going to.

“Let me jog your memory.” Lance snipped out. “It was last night. In the shower room.”

Keith's jaw dropped and Lance knew he wanted to counter with something along the line of 'you were spying on me?’, but he curled into a ball against the wall of his room and continued. 

“Do you, do you think I'm ugly? Am I not attractive enough to turn you on?” 

Keith jumped up and crawled over to his boyfriend. “Are you-? No! Of course not Lance, you're gorgeous!”

“Then why?” Lance heard his voice crack and the blur of tears covering his eyes threatened to fall. “I've been going crazy trying to think of what I did, or didn't do to make you not want me! Sex isn't the end all be all for me, but I need to know what's going on in your head, _truthfully_ this time!”

Keith stared at his boyfriend on the brink of tears and felt a deep ache in his chest.

“I… you drive me up the wall.” He finally said after a dreadfully long moment of silence. “Sometimes, I can't tell if the things you do are to get a rise out of me, or if you're really just _that_ irresistible. Almost everything you do makes me want you like crazy.”

Lance's face twisted into incredulous confusion. “ _What_? Dude, I’ve been sitting at the edge of my seat trying to figure out if you even thought I was cute or thought I just had a 'nice personality’! Now you're telling me you wanna jump my bones as much as I do? What gives?!”

Keith didn't respond, but used a trembling hand to pick up Lance's and slowly placed it over his pants.

“Oh, _fuck_.” Lance wheezed out.

Keith continued to say nothing, and nodded, with his lips sealed shut, his face turned away and the blush on his face so apparent, he was pretty sure he could match Red's paint.

“I don't get it, are you not emotionally ready? Is there something I could do to help?” Lance slowly gripped through Keith's pants.

Keith took a sharp breathe in and shook his head. He squinted his eyes open and looked at Lance with such cautious, vulnerable eyes. “I-it’s not that I'm not ready. I've been ready, I've been _dying_ for your touch. But… I'm scared.”

Lance loosened his grip slightly, “Scared?” He repeated. “Of what?”

“Well… I'm not. I'm not human like you are! Not fully anyway. I've never done anything before so, so I don't know if anything is… different between us. Or what being half-Galra means when doing stuff like this. I don't want to- I don't know how you'd react to seeing me and doing _anything_ with me. If anything we did would even be safe for you. I- I-”

Lance softly ran his hand down the zipper of Keith pants, earning another beautiful cry of ecstasy. “But… you _do_ want me?”

“ _Quiznak_ , yes.”

Bubbles and butterfly danced around in his chest. The Blue Paladin smirked and crawled on top of his boyfriend and ground their groins together. Both teens made a shuddering groan and were panting furiously.

“Then that’d good enough for me.” Lance whispered in his ears. “We don’t have to go all out tonight, but your ass is _mine_ , Kogane.”

Stars exploded behind Keith’s eyes and he couldn’t trust anything he said right now to make sense, so he reached up and kissed Lance with as much passion as he could convey, hoping it could say what he wanted to.

It did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith!! Initiated!! The kiss!!!!
> 
> Also, what can I say? I like making them walk in on each other.
> 
> (Yet again, I'm churning this out late and promise to respond to your beautiful comments when I can, but it probably wont be until this week is over TToTT )


	7. Give

The first gift Lance gave Keith was a holster for his Blade. He stammered throughout trying to give the holster and had to embarrassingly explain what is was for.

Their relationship was still pretty new, maybe half a deca-phoeb, but he thanked Lance with a kiss soft enough to send him to cloud nine.

The first gift Keith ever gave Lance was a gem from some mineral-enriched planet. He spent almost a phoeb tumbling and smoothing it, but when the gem was ready, if you put it in front of light, you could almost see the ocean sparkling inside it.

When Keith showed Lance the light trick, it was the first time he ever saw his boyfriend cry. 

The second gift Keith gave Lance was a trip to Sodix, a salt plains planet. The planet was slightly windy, and when they trekked up a mountain, Keith asked Lance to close his eyes and take a deep breath in. A fresh breeze of air whirled around them and the smell of salt was everywhere.

Like Veradero Beach.

That was the first time they said 'I love you’.

The second gift Lance gave was after Keith was injured in a mission and sent to the pods. It was a small Balmeran crystal necklace. He said that Shay's grandmother performed a special ceremony to infuse an indigenous spell of protection. It was the size of his pinky with a tint of purple wrapped around a black band.

Lance clasped it around his neck with shaking hands, and Keith promised to never take it off.

He also promised never to leave Lance's side.

The next gift was from both of them. They had been dating for two deca-pheobs and knew what was the next step. Keith and Lance spent most of their time consulting with Shiro and Hunk. Movements of late night planning and sneaking out to nearby stations culminated to the day of their anniversary.

During a small, routine mission (one that Shiro carefully orchestrated) they asked each other to close their eyes and when they were both ready, opened their eyes only to see their boyfriend on his knee.

They looked at each other, bewildered.

Then, it clicked.

After Keith and Lance realized what they were doing, they shuffled (still on their knees) to meet on the floor, blubbering into each other's arms and said yes. When they broke the news to everyone, Pidge threw up their hands and said, “You guys are _idiots_ , but damn if I'm not happy for you.”

They laughed and rubbed the bands on their finger, both were made of titanium. Keith's held a blue gem, while Lance's had a red gem. The rings felt light on their hand, but heavy and full in their hearts. Looking into each other's eyes, they kissed until Allura coughed politely with a blush on her face, she suggested they should retire for the evening.

\--

The last thing Lance gave had happened during their final confrontation with Haggar. She had her druids break the team up, but Keith and Lance made sure to stay together. Haggar grinned and wound up a bolt of quintessence. Keith dove in front of Lance much to his protest in order to take the brunt of the hit, but Haggar never released the magic. Instead, she cackled and disappeared into the shadows. Keith stayed protectively in front of his partner and they looked around to try to predict where she would reappear. 

By the time they heard her whispers, she had jumped back to her original spot. Keith began to approach her, but she clicked her tongue. 

“I would watch my back if I were you, paladin.” She cackled once more.

Keith spun around in time to dodge a swing from Lance.

Except, something was wrong.

His movements were jerky and unnatural. Dark purple lines streaked across his face leading up to his yellow tinted eyes. Lance's face was twisted in a pained expression.

“Lance!” Keith called out, backing up and dodging each advance. “Babe, snap out of it!”

“I- I… _can't_.”

The blue paladin grunted and tackled his partner to the ground. Keith choked on lost air and shouted when his head slammed against the floor. Lance sat up, straddling his hips.

Keith could hear his heart trying to pound through his chest. He went to grab his blade from his holster only to feel it unclasped and missing.

“I’m s-so glad the necklace worked.” Keith snapped his attention back to Lance and saw him holding _his_ blade over his own heart. His eyes were flickering between yellow and white, but they held a steely conviction. “It's over, Keith. Finish her.” 

“What are you- no, Lance, no no no no _no-_ ” Keith reached up to stop his boyfriend, his partner, his _life_.

With zero hesitation, Lance plunged the knife in his chest and yanked it out in one swift motion. Keith cried out, feeling a warm splatter of blood spray his face. The knife clattered to the ground beside him and Lance slumped over him.

Keith clamored from underneath him and spun Lance to see his face. 

“Lance, Lance, honey, _say something_.” Keith patted his face softly with one hand and used the other to try to compress the cut.

His partner's eyes were half-lidded and unfocused. A gurgle of blood came up and Lance used the little strength he had to demand one thing.

“Give me her death.”

The blood spurting out slowed to a trickle, and Lance lost the strength to try to hold his head up. Keith looked down, trembling with tears flowing freely and much too afraid to check his lover’s pulse. Instead, he kissed his forehead, rubbed the hand that held Lance's ring, and gently placed Lance on the floor. When he rose, Keith grabbed his blade, still saturated with blood. Keith turned to Haggar, who seemed to relish the misery she had just caused.

He snarled and lunged forward, fully intending to give Lance one last gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I feel death creeping at my door. Promise to respond to you, don't know how if I'm gonna finish, made several deals with the devil, yadda yadda


	8. Sandwich

Lance stretched on his bed lazily waiting around. He tapped his fingers on the cover of his current read - _A Theory on Alternate Universes_ by Katie Holt. He had to give it to her, Pidge was the only scientist that could convince a STEM panel filled with stuffy coats that String Theory was more than just theory and it showed in her book. 

“What do you wanna get for lunch?”

He cocked his head to the side and saw Keith reading a book on _Cryptids and Where Not to Find Them_.

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “I’ll probably just read a little bit more and sleep.”

“Lance,” Keith groan out, pinching his nose, “We’ve been through this, did you Forget? Allura said if she finds out you’ve skipped another meal, she’s gonna sic Dr. Smythe on you.”

On cue, there was a knock on the door with was shortly followed by a dark-skinned, light-haired nurse bouncing in with a box in her hands.

“Hello boys, and how are we doing today?” She said with a dazzling smile.

“Better now that you’re here, gorgeous.” Lance leered with a quirked eyebrow and toothy grin.

Rather than smack him on his arm, Keith opted to throw his boyfriend in the Fire. “Lance said he wasn’t planning on eating today.”

“Keith!” He screeched out, surprised at the utter betrayal. Lance turned to his nurse, whose gentle smile had turned to a furious snarl. “P-princess, it’s not like that!”

“ _Lance_ ,” She hissed. “You’re going to eat today, even if it means I have to tie you and force it down myself.”

“Allura, you should have just told me you were into that, I’d be more than happy to oblige~”

She closed her eyes and let a puff of frustration out. “If you don’t eat, I Fear the medicine won’t react well in your body.” Softly, she placed a hand on his head - smooth, without a trace of hair to be seen. “This is your last round of chemo, the sooner you finish this, the faster we get to see your pretty locks again.”

Lance looked down at the floor and sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good, so let’s get this setup then.”

Keith reached into his bag and pulled out a few candies. Lance popped one in his mouth and nodded for Allura to continue. She started his injection with a push of saline (ugh... salty, nauseous, _disgusting_ ), then hooked his line to a machine-controlled drip solution.

Their nurse threw out all of the trash generated from setting Lance up and started to head out. “I’ll be back around lunchtime, does turkey and cheese sound good?” He nodded and she smiled, dimming the Light and closing the door behind her to give them privacy.

Sure enough, after reading a bit more, Lance found his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. Careful not to disrupt his IV, he turned to his side and made sure he could still see Keith. Keith looked up, the movement getting his attention. Placing his book down, he reached into his bag once more and pulled out a fleece blanket.

Keith draped the blanket over Lance, long gone to his slumber, and turned on the TV to pass the time.

\--

When he woke up, the sound of sniffling was the first thing to register.

Keith snapped his head up - he had fallen asleep resting his head on a part of Lance’s bed and saw his love trying to cry as quietly as possible.

“Lance?” He asked, heart full of worry, “Baby, talk to me, what are you feeling?”

Lance continued to sob, wiping his hands and arms all over his face to pick up any tears and snot that came out. Keith moved to turn the TV off and saw that it was a local news station reporting on the Kerberos II mission.

_Oh._

“I-” _sniff,_ “I feel terrible, like I Ruined your life! It could’ve been you up there, on that mission!” His crying started to overcome his voice, “If it wasn’t for me, if you weren’t _with_ me, you wouldn't have had to give up your dream!”

Keith spun back around, “Lance, _you_ are my dream.” He grabbed the hand that was free to move around and pressed it against his cheek. “Going on the Kerberos II mission would have been amazing, but how could I call myself Human to leave my heart and soul here while he’s fighting cancer? I wouldn’t be someone worthy of your love, I’d be nothing.”

The young Korean rubbed the red gem on his boyfriend’s band. “They’ll Give me another shot. There will be other times, there will be other missions.” He leaned down to kiss the ring. “There’s only one you, Lance McClain.”

Sniffling reduced to almost nothing, Lance weakly raised his hand to kiss Keith’s band, “You don’t regret turning the mission down for me?”

“No, I’d never regret choosing you.” Keith said, eyes closed to focus on his soulmate’s touch. “Not in a million years, not in a trillion. Not in this life, or the next. Not on Earth, and not in Space.”

A comforted sigh left Lance’s lips.

“I love you, Mullet.”

“I love you too, Sharpshooter.”

Eyes still closed Keith added, “You still have to eat the Sandwich.”

“ _Fuck._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can sandwich really be considered the theme for this? Eh, you'll live.
> 
> Didn't actually think I could do it, but it's done! There was a lot I messed up on (like a lot), but this provided such a huge way for me to become more aware of my writing style and how to improve. 
> 
> Thank you again for your all support and love!
> 
>  
> 
> Also, pls notice that I fit all of the prompt names in this story, tyvm <3


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